Compartments

.
I feel myself drowning in metal
and plastic
The metal that is insignificant
in your eyes
are the keystone to my pyramids
I want to remould the plates
but they just end up filling the room with fumes
I don't think I can find my way out
Red Orange White
Metal is the only light source left

.
And sometimes I dream of playgrounds puddles paddlepops
But they get demolished mopped and melt

.
Walking wilfully into red lights
is counter-intuitive
but it's so easy
red is like christmas
when the commotion is generated by your family
the little boys fight over turkey
you can think of it as such
red is like valentines
when the ethanol comes in the form of sweet whites and champagne
drunkeness is welcome vulnerability
you can think of it as such
you can ease your way through the night
if you're willing to close your eyes
dream of soft blankets and lavender
someone is drawing a bath
for you
the warmth hits your face
you can lie to yourself that
you enjoy this
that you're not sitting in the cold
with too little clothes on
leaving lipstick stains on white cigarette buds
the red transfers to become too bold too bawdy
but you can lie to yourself that's not the colour on your lips
the rouge you found was much more elegant
when you put it on at 8pm
in the glass shard you call a mirror
you can lie to yourself
the little red pills you take every month
are candy
you can lie to yourself
the red hand print can be covered with some
drug store concealer
it's so easy
you can lie to yourself
and slowly let red
festive joyous red
take over

The Kahleeessssssi is annoying

• it's a very odd sensation you find yourself realizing that you are coping fine and the next minute your fingers hurt from the plastic lid of a coffee cup you were calming sipping from

• "you're so easy to read" - but I am not an open book. The careless coffee stain, the crease-less spine that someone has strained himself to maintain, the attempts at annotation, the key scratches on the cover - empirical proof for Hemingway or Fitzgerald to prove their hypothesises. Uncertainty - none. I do not have that privilege. I must scour for things like the actor hunting for a misremembered line in the wrong scene.

• (but bb I will offer you camomile tea whenever thank you so much)

• Happy birthday Benny

• It annoys me that I liked this and have no intention of unliking this on tumblr

egotism

He wanted people, someone sane and stupid and good. (Crying)

One last call for alcohol

So the common tests are over.

It's 1151 now and I'm just sitting here wondering where did the past 6 months go (Not that it's been dry and uneventful) 

Crashed IPMUN on Thursday and sleepover with Tribal Sisterhood (don't ask). 

So yeah the past few weeks has been just walking into school everyday and being in awe of everyone and anyone ok. Because honestly everyone is just amazing. HAVE YOU SEEN MY JUNIORS/ HAVE YOU SEEN MY SENIORS/ HAVE YOU SEEN MY BATCH MATES? Meanwhile I will eat potato chips.

.

Been feeling meh so here is a meh playlist for you people that feel meh and stuff yeah ok love you bbz

galaxies

I should write more substantial posts

  

 

June 2013 with myself

I should be studying for History right now considering how my paper is tomorrow. But here is word vomit. June was fine. IMUNC!!!!!!!!! and PEOPLE!!!!!!! but yeah

the last time we went swimming the sea stood up and hugged you as though you were responsible for keeping it blue

there is sun

it feels great when the rays hit you

the water is refreshing

you can smell the salt

feel the sand under your printed toes

after a while you feel the burn

your bikini strap is digging too deep into your back

the water is too hot

the sand is getting into your eyes

your hair is everywhere except in the right place

your ruby/blood red drink is too sweet 

you can almost feel the syrup viscous on your skin

you feel the lukewarm alcohol pierce through your cracked lips

where are the moon and stars

where is the evening breeze

where are the late night walks along the beach in a flowy cotton (comfortable) dress

where is the trial of fairy lights that end at the dock

where is the beam coming from the lighthouse

where is the chill that reminds you that you are vulnerable

that vulnerable means alive

where are the waves

the night isn't coming